I Forgave My Abuser, and the Internet Absolutely Lost Its Mind 🤯
They tell me, “How DARE you find a higher purpose in your suffering!”
I was recently interviewed on the CULTS TO CONSCIOUSNESS podcast, a popular podcast that shares the stories of individuals who leave high-control groups and religions.
I shared my story about whistleblowing the abuse cover-up at my nutrition school. This coverup involved a psychopathic “mystical guru” who used mind-control, blackmail, and black magic to silence and control the long line of his victims.
When I was 21, I became this psychopath’s client in his healthcare practice. As his client, I was groomed and sexually assaulted. Under the influence of trauma-based mind control, I succumbed to abuse in a romantic relationship for three years. Finally, I broke free from his manipulation, discovered the hidden truth, and whistleblew his extensive abuse to my community.
I recount the details of this story, and my healing journey, in my newest book, The Scorpion and The Lion.
In this book, I share the process of how I came out of severe abuse not only healed, but with an open heart. I choose to move beyond victim status, and even beyond survivor status into thriving status.
As I write in the Preface to The Scorpion and the Lion:
If you are not very careful, this world will have you believe that abusive experiences create trauma beyond the possibilities of healing, and wounds deeper than the reaches of love. I wrote this book because I healed from the kind of trauma (sexual, emotional, financial, and psychic) that many other people considered impossible to heal. I was told, in various ways, “That kind of experience scars a person for life. The pain will always live inside you.” Somehow, by mystery and grace, my soul recognized those words as a preposterous lie.
I chose to believe it was possible to heal better than I was when I broke. I realized that my mission was to come out of a scorpion’s clutches in such a shining blaze of truth that the only thing I could say to the scorpion was, “Because of you, look at who I have become. It was the greatest privilege of my life to become this woman. Thank you.”
In the book, I share how I shifted my consciousness to allow that kind of healing. I learned to see my human suffering through a broader perspective of spiritual lessons.
As a result, I learned how to thrive not in spite of, but because of, the abuse I experienced. I learned to release all resentment for the psychopath who horrifically abused me… and even forgive him.
That’s where the internet absolutely lost its mind.
Disgruntled keyboard warriors came out of the woodwork, spewing accusations like:
“That’s victim-blaming, you’re saying what the abuser did was okay!”
“That’s an unhealthy way to cope with trauma!”
“That’s psychobabble!”
Most of all, they collectively voiced the belief: “There is no higher purpose to my suffering. I did not choose my abuse in this world, or another world. I am a victim to evil. End of story.”
So which perspective is correct?
Both are, depending on which you choose to believe.
THE USES OF SORROW by Mary Oliver
(In my sleep I dreamed this poem)
Someone I loved once gave me
a box full of darkness.
It took me years to understand
that this, too, was a gift.
VICTIM OR HERO
Has your life given you overwhelming heartbreak? Financial exploitation? Soul-numbing grief? Impossible loss? Life-shattering abuse?
That’s your Box of Darkness, as Mary Oliver calls it. You get to decide if it’s a gift, or your burden.
A hero and a victim are made from the same ingredients.
Crisis, impossible stakes, and incomprehensible evil make up these key ingredients. (A global psychopath-led New World Order agenda is another key ingredient 🤪)
Then, you put those ingredients into the kiln of your mind, and the cauldron of your heart.
If those ingredients meet with the stagnant emotions of bitterness and resentment, they start to mould and ferment. It’s like having an imbalanced microbiome that can’t digest food; you can’t digest you life, and you end up with an inflamed and painful heart.
If those ingredients meet with love and courage and fortitude and faith, however, then you alchemize those ingredients into gold.
Consider this story of my friends, E and C, and their two young-adult children. In 2021, C was illegally fired from his corporate job due to the bioweapon injection mandate. E and C summoned immense courage, sold their house in the city, and purchased a plot of land in the country.
Working as a family team, they created rental income and a home business. They learned how to garden and raise chickens. Their children, trading screen time for outdoor time, grew strong and tan. Now, their family enjoys more community, spiritual purpose, financial freedom, and time freedom than ever before.
E and C were given the raw ingredients of evil, corruption, and psychopathic agendas. They alchemized these components by adding the transformative ingredients of courage, perseverance, creativity, community, and lots of hard work.
The ingredients for a hero and a victim are the same. You get to determine the outcome, based on what other ingredients you add to the mix.
A WARNING…
I must warn you, however, that if you choose to find higher purpose from dark ingredients, many people won’t like it.
They will get defensive, and therefore violently angry. After all, your very existence is a threat to their foundational belief system! Your joy invalidates their excuses to remain resentful and angry.
They believe the kind of healing you experienced is impossible for them, and so it must be impossible for you. So they will convince themselves that you are lying. Or that you had it easier than them. Or that you are delusional.
And you will say, “Okay.”
You will bless them, and turn off your computer. You will take a cup of tea onto the porch, and look out at the hills and sky and trees. You will wonder at the miracle of your life: how you finally made it to the place you always wanted to be.
The place called peace.
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
I’ll leave you with another excerpt from The Scorpion and The Lion:
I never set out to forgive Jay, I simply dedicated myself to living my most beautiful love story. On that journey, I realized that the extremely painful circumstances I experienced with him were an opportunity to learn powerful love. Now, I look in my heart and find gratitude for him. Because of him, I know what love is not; I have written this book; I can now recognize scorpions, and I have made my corner of the world beautiful. Can you imagine a better love story? All the darkness that was given to me, I turned into light.
With the darkness given to you, I’m sure you can do all this, and even more. It may feel like a long journey into your love story, and it may feel unbearable at times, but at the end, you will be grateful to those who gave you the darkness. You will feel no desire to tell them, “Shame on you,” or “I told you so,” or “I hope you experience justice.”
You will simply say to them, “Thank you for being a teacher of love.”
STAY IN TOUCH
MY BOOKS
The Scorpion and The Lion | Whistleblower Exposé
The Invisible Corset | Heal the Relationship with Your Body
Beyond The Rulebook | 30-Day Writing Journey For Life Clarity
MY FREE GUIDEBOOKS
[FREE] A Few Practical Steps to Enjoy The Apocalypse | Workbook for Awakening
[FREE] The Master List Of Natural Remedies | Holistic Protocols for Chronic Health Problems
MY CLASSES
The Vaccine Class | Learn What Your Doctor Won't Tell You
Food without Fear | Spiritually Heal Food and Weight Problems
Thank you for sharing, and for your support!
Beautiful! Forgiveness is a gift primarily to yourself. Oh what a world we would live in if we learned to be truly grateful and forgiving. Thank you for sharing your experience.
Folks don't understand what forgiveness is. Hate and anger are poisons of the spirit. Forgiveness is the antidote. Your abuser probably couldn't care less about you forgiving him. By you forgiving him, you have let go of all that garbage and can move forward with your life.